I want to tell you all about my obsession with the reality TV show "Housewives of New York City." It's on BRAVO, Tuesday nights at 10:00 p.m. and is usually repeated at other times during the week.It has absolutely no redeeming value at all. It's about six rich, obnoxious, self-absorbed and maniacal women who live in New York City. There's Jill, the sweet but cloying JAP, Ramona - "She who blurts out any thought that comes into her tiny brain, no matter how rude", social climbing Alex - "She who is married to a gay man and won't admit it, (his name is Simon and many fans call him the 7th housewife)" LuAnn - a Countess who claims to know all about good manners but rarely shows any, Bethenny, the beautiful, single one who can't find a guy to marry and newcomer Kelly a former model with a shiny, sun-damaged face who was recently reported to have beat up her boyfriend. We get to watch these ladies pal around together while spending wads of money. The only problem is they don't like each other too much - and it's delightful.Watching the show is a guilty pleasure - you know you shouldn't do it, but you can't stop yourself and it's so hot Jessica Sarah Parker was overheard gossiping about in NYC last weekend.
Some highlights from this season:The first moments of the second season start when Jill gets slammed by Alex for talking to a Page Six gossip columnist and telling her that Simon drinks too much (because he tripped and fell down three times at a party) and that she doesn't like them and doesn't hang around with them. All of this in print for all of NYC to read. This is her revenge for Simon telling some other gossip columnist that Jill is too "bridge and tunnel," which in NYC means from Long Island or New Jersey and is therefore considered an insult. Actually, no one on the show likes Simon & Alex (aka "Silex") and so far this season they have spent almost all their time on screen by themselves.
LuAnn throws a birthday party for her one year old dog. Everyone is supposed to bring their pet dog. Ramona brings a lizard.Everyone goes off to the Hamptons for the summer. They all stay at fabulous mansions that they own or rent - Bethenny stays with Jill. Silex rent a haunted farm house in the poor part of town and go to the beach where they are afraid of the waves. They prefer to go shopping in the village where Simon buys lots of pink stuff. For himself. Alex thinks it's wonderful that they match.Countess LuAnn, who is writing a book on manners, goes to a benefit where she is supposed to be honored and ends up lecturing the audience for talking while the emcee is trying to talk to the crowd. Then she goes back to her table and commences talking to everyone at it while the emcee is talking to the crowd. Bethenny thinks the Countess has no class and keeps asking her in wonderment and disbelief "Are you classy because you're a countess?"
Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Silex paddle about in a ten foot inflatable pool in their backyard bragging about how cool it is while Ramona and her husband lounge in their enormous Hamptons pool sipping cocktails. Silex decide to remodel their ramshackle hut in Brooklyn and bring in a fancy architect to do the work. He tries to keep a straight face while Alex tells him she wants lots of built-in bookcases to keep Dickens and Shakespeare on hand for her children to read (ages 2 and 4).
Bethenny finds out she is going to be on the cover of "Social Life" magazine, a local high society rag. Well-mannered Countess Luann promptly comments "Will they do lots of retouching?" Bethenny almost passes out. Ramona, who considers herself, not the Countess, to be the epitome of class, gives love-lorn Bethenny dating advice - telling her to go out with lots of guys just for fun for a few months and she'll become a "man magnet." Luann, Countess Good Manners, is horrified that Bethenny might be seen as a woman of "ill-repute." Ramona gets a weird glimmer in her eyes and starts to chide the Countess about her aged Filthy Rich Count husband (implying that said Countess just might be a gold-digger) and the Countess goes wild, threatening to throw Ramona out. Bethenny fights to keep a straight face. Jill misses all of it, much to her dismay. Two "classy" rich babes having a cat fight - does it get any better?The most recent show ends with Luann having to leave Bethenny's "Social Life" magazine party early, in shame, because everyone knows she made the retouching remark to Bethenny. And the editor makes it clear they actually didn't have to do any retouching on the flawless, much younger, Bethenny. Poor Luann! Ramona does a weird dance. Silex pack for their annual unfashionable off-season vacation to St. Barts where they somehow think the hot, stuffy summer weather will be better than Brooklyn's hot stuffy summer weather. Simon takes his pink jeans.All is well with the world.
Some highlights from this season:The first moments of the second season start when Jill gets slammed by Alex for talking to a Page Six gossip columnist and telling her that Simon drinks too much (because he tripped and fell down three times at a party) and that she doesn't like them and doesn't hang around with them. All of this in print for all of NYC to read. This is her revenge for Simon telling some other gossip columnist that Jill is too "bridge and tunnel," which in NYC means from Long Island or New Jersey and is therefore considered an insult. Actually, no one on the show likes Simon & Alex (aka "Silex") and so far this season they have spent almost all their time on screen by themselves.
LuAnn throws a birthday party for her one year old dog. Everyone is supposed to bring their pet dog. Ramona brings a lizard.Everyone goes off to the Hamptons for the summer. They all stay at fabulous mansions that they own or rent - Bethenny stays with Jill. Silex rent a haunted farm house in the poor part of town and go to the beach where they are afraid of the waves. They prefer to go shopping in the village where Simon buys lots of pink stuff. For himself. Alex thinks it's wonderful that they match.Countess LuAnn, who is writing a book on manners, goes to a benefit where she is supposed to be honored and ends up lecturing the audience for talking while the emcee is trying to talk to the crowd. Then she goes back to her table and commences talking to everyone at it while the emcee is talking to the crowd. Bethenny thinks the Countess has no class and keeps asking her in wonderment and disbelief "Are you classy because you're a countess?"
Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Silex paddle about in a ten foot inflatable pool in their backyard bragging about how cool it is while Ramona and her husband lounge in their enormous Hamptons pool sipping cocktails. Silex decide to remodel their ramshackle hut in Brooklyn and bring in a fancy architect to do the work. He tries to keep a straight face while Alex tells him she wants lots of built-in bookcases to keep Dickens and Shakespeare on hand for her children to read (ages 2 and 4).
Bethenny finds out she is going to be on the cover of "Social Life" magazine, a local high society rag. Well-mannered Countess Luann promptly comments "Will they do lots of retouching?" Bethenny almost passes out. Ramona, who considers herself, not the Countess, to be the epitome of class, gives love-lorn Bethenny dating advice - telling her to go out with lots of guys just for fun for a few months and she'll become a "man magnet." Luann, Countess Good Manners, is horrified that Bethenny might be seen as a woman of "ill-repute." Ramona gets a weird glimmer in her eyes and starts to chide the Countess about her aged Filthy Rich Count husband (implying that said Countess just might be a gold-digger) and the Countess goes wild, threatening to throw Ramona out. Bethenny fights to keep a straight face. Jill misses all of it, much to her dismay. Two "classy" rich babes having a cat fight - does it get any better?The most recent show ends with Luann having to leave Bethenny's "Social Life" magazine party early, in shame, because everyone knows she made the retouching remark to Bethenny. And the editor makes it clear they actually didn't have to do any retouching on the flawless, much younger, Bethenny. Poor Luann! Ramona does a weird dance. Silex pack for their annual unfashionable off-season vacation to St. Barts where they somehow think the hot, stuffy summer weather will be better than Brooklyn's hot stuffy summer weather. Simon takes his pink jeans.All is well with the world.
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